lady midnight by cassandra clare / mark blackthorn is a gift sent from heaven

I finished Lady Midnight last night at around midnight (heh) and have been crying ever since.

I am a huge fan of everything Shadowhunters, and I have been for several years now but I for some reason just never wanted to pick this book up? I kind of wanted to leave it and hope that everything was peaceful and happy. 

However, I KNEW that I had to read this after the amazing reviews it got and everyone saying how much Cassie's writing improved so yeah, I had to. And man I am so glad I did. 

ONTO THE REVIEW because I am overflowing with emotions that need to be typed out.

cassandra clare's fantastic gorgeous writing that makes me cry

I HAVE to start out with this simply because it's the biggest thing that stands out about her books to me and the reason why I lOVE them the way I do. She gorgeously creates scenes, especially the whipping scene which tore me into pieces but STILL it was so good. I can't put her writing into words so here are just some of my favorite quotes SFDSKGJFB

“When you love someone, they become a part of who you are. They're in everything you do. They're in the air you breathe and the water you drink and the blood in your veins. Their touch stays on your skin and their voice stays in your ears and their thoughts stay in your mind. You know their dreams because their nightmares pierce your heart and their good dreams are your dreams too. And you don't think they're perfect, but you know their flaws, the deep-down truth of them, and the shadows of all their secrets, and they don't frighten you away; in fact you love them more for it, because you don't want perfect. You want them. You want—"

“A gentle boy with a gentle soul, but every soul contains its own opposite, and the opposite of gentleness was ruthlessness—the beautiful wreckage of mercy.” 

“Kieran glanced at her with shimmering eyes. Neither looked quite human: The black eye was too dark, the silver too metallic. And yet the overall effect was haunting, inhumanly beautiful.”

the whole connection with poe's poem

The whole story sort of connected with Edgar Allan Poe's Annabel Lee (his last poem woah) and she wrote on her Tumblr:

I’ve always loved Annabel Lee — it has a high romanticism to it. It’s beautiful and haunting in ways that I hope to invoke in Lady Midnight and the other books of TDA. The ocean, forbidden love, devastating loss, the refusal to accept death, and lovers being forcibly separated are some of the “bones” of the poem that it shares with The Dark Artifices.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS SO COOL AND CREATIVE, which was expected from Clare but STILL. It was so different and she tied the poem in perfectly and made the whole plot with the poem gah I just love it. (I also loved when she connected Tale of Two Cities in TID.. heart eyes.)

And all the chapter titles being bits of the poem? Genius. 

my mixed feelings about jemma

I honestly couldn't tell you if I liked Jemma or not AND IT'S A PROBLEM. 

The way Cassie wrote it was so gorgeous it's like the words were literally melting off the page into my soul and IT WAS TOO GOOD. The way they described their love for each other. Love. ALL THE LOVE.

But I felt like it was so incredibly predictable that they would get together and it's the whole foRBIdden LovE trope that I just don't want to have to deal with through the entirety of Lord of Shadows. 

Although at the same time, I couldn't see either of them with anyone else UGH. I've actually wracked my brain over this jfdjbfb

mark blackthorn has my whole entire heart

what a great character. HE IS A BEAUTIFUL BEING THAT DESERVES EVERYTHING. His character is so complex and deep and lined with MYSTERY, I can't even absorb it all. He is a bisexual icon, and that is the greatest thing. 

Although what I really don't want to see is a stupid love triangle with Cristina, Mark, and Kieran (or maybe Diego instead of Kieran it may even be a square A LOVE SQUARE). no. I don't want it and I don't need it. Keep it far far away from my precious child. 

He deserves nothing but love and joy no suffering. Please.

all of the diversity

I am diversity in YA's biggest stan. I am ALWAYS here for it. AND ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS. yes.

We had badass Mexican Cristina with her butterfly knives, we had bisexual Mark, we had an AMAZINGLY portrayed autistic character!!! WhICH IS TOO GOOD. I love how the autism wasn't what made Ty's character, because he was so much more than that, and YA authors tend to make autistic characters... nothing but autistic... which ruins it all?

Julian had looked at his own inexact, messy work and Ty's methodical rows, and thought: We both see the same world, but in a different way. Ty feels the same joy I do, the joy of creation. We feel all the same things, only the shape of our feelings are different.

the big blackthorn family

The second best thing about this book next to Cassie's improved writing was the big and gorgeous Blackthorn family. I love every single one of them, no exceptions. Mark, my beautiful half faerie legend. Julian, the mom we all need and want. Ty and Livvy, and Dru, and ADORABLE Tavvy, I love them all and nothing bad should ever happen to them.

If I had the time to sit here and write about how much I loved each and every one of these characters, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I don't think I can sit at my computer for three weeks on end, but I love them, they're all so incredibly different and I want to learn MORE and MORE about them. 

emma was not annoying and julian is just perfect

The one thing that always set me off about City of Bones and City of Ashes was that Clary was just so annoying. Don't hate me and she definitely got better as the series went on, but in the first two books she was intolerable. Emma, on the other hand, is a total queen who for the most part, knows what she is doing. She's kind of aggressive at times, but I honestly thought it was kind of great.

AND JULIAN. the perfect soft boy. I want nothing more in the world to see one of his paintings because the way that they are described makes my heart go SHWOOO! And he sounds like such a beautiful person, inside and out, and HE HAS SO MUCH DEPTH I want to know it all.

kit rook? nO . kit herondale? i think yes

MORE HERONDALES. NBFSKBNKWFDG YES. I got so excited at that scene that I almost dropped the 8505845 pound book. Also I kind of sensed some Kit and Ty action there which is more than my heart can bear because it would just be so perfect and maybe tropey but I don't even care.

Although Johnny Rook kind of confused me??? I am seeking out for some explanation on who the heck he was.

676 pages? not loving it.

The biggest downside of the book was how long it was. Someone please tell Cassie that she doesn't have to make her chapters 58705084 pages long and add so much unecessary detail. I love her writing, but sometimes she adds too much?? I swear every time I almost dropped the book I freaked because I'm pretty sure it was going to break my feet.

My arms got TIRED okay

the parabatai curse thing? not loving it.

I was eagerly waiting the entire book to see why parabatai couldn't get together, because I knew it was coming, and I wanted it to be good. But it wasn't enough for me. 

They get too powerful and then go crazy? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME. Something like they'd lose power would make more sense for me?? am i crazy, probably, bUt I just didn't like it.

And the whole Clave hating love thing? Sheesh.

villain cliche speech thing? not loving it.

At the end, Cassie chose to put this whole speech where Malcolm explains his evil plan MUAHAHAHA. yeah. i hated it.

That's literally the biggest cliche in the book, I get it was a way to explain his evil plan MUAHAHAHA but doing it that way? Lame and overused. 

Have your eyes been graced by the glory that is Lady Midnight? Which Blackthorn is your favorite? Yes Jemma or NO PLS KILL IT Jemma?

Lord of Shadows is coming in the mail tomorrow and I could not be more excited :D

ALSO almost February, I hope your Januarys were amazing!!

peace out y'all,

THIS WAS SO LONG sorry hheheheeh i had so much to say


should you make a yearly reading goal?

If you're on Goodreads, chances are you've set a 2018 Reading Challenge.

SO HAVE I. My current goal is an ambitious 80 books, and I'm only one book behind right now, so that truly is an accomplishment.

Reading challenges are fun, goals are fun, it's fun to have something to strive for. But recently I've seen the flaws in the whole system, or things that have made me slightly hasty to keep reaching for the goal this year.

Which means only one thing. PROS AND CONS LIST

reminder that these are just personal opinions and how it is for moi.

motivation to read 

the one thing that motivates me the most is the thought of the feeling after I accomplish my goal. The idea that in December I'll open Goodreads and see I have read eighty books in one year makes me so incredibly excited that I think I'm going to go ditch this post and read. And the best part is I start to appreciate reading again! best. feeling. ever.

it helps me to keep track of what I've read 

honestly, if the Reading Challenge didn't exist, I don't know how much I'd use Goodreads :P I like to make sure that every book counts towards my goal.

And honestly, without Goodreads, I definitely wouldn't remember half the things I read.. THAT'S PROBABLY REALLY BAD

it encourages you to review and discuss the book that you're reading

Goodreads always offers you the opportunity to comment when you're updating your place in a book and also lets you review after you read, and it makes reviewing feel less... difficult? It's right there for me, I can just type something and LOOK. I'VE REVIEWED.

I honestly feel so accomplished after writing even the smallest of reviews. Like I did something good for the bookish world with my measly one paragraph review.

making reading feel like a number count  

counting how many books I've read and calculating how many books I need to read makes it feel like... not... a hobby? Maybe not exactly chore, but definitely not something that's CAREFREE and relaxing.

it gets stressful 

Goodreads tells you if you're ahead or behind schedule and I honestly haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing. SURE, you know where you should be but it also could go like this:

"ohmyword I'm three books behind GO INTO PANIC MODE"

i love this gif

it's terrible when you don't reach your goal 

You're halfway through the year and you know there's no way you can read another 100 books in 6 months, you are ashamed, sad, you give up reading and become an anti literature monk.

see the problem?

OK but it actually feels discouraging when you don't reach your goal, like what am I doing wrong? You could always change your goal, but sometimes that feels even worse.

How do you feel about setting yearly reading goals? What is your reading goal for this year? What are some other pros and cons for reading goals? TALK

peace out y'all,


seven powers from marissa meyer's renegades that would be BEYOND AMAZING irl (spoilers?)

OK I just finished Marissa Meyer's Renegades like some 2 hours ago and WOWOWOWOW.

Everything is so cool? SHE IS A WORLDBUILDING MASTER. The plot and characters are to die for, but what really piqued my interest are the dope prodigies. I mean some of those powers are so cool and WOW if we had them in real life... FDJFJG

SO. I compiled a list of my ten favorite powers described in the book to share with you guys since I DID NOT feel like writing a review today OOPS

adrian/sketch's well.. sketching powers

Come on. The kid can make his drawings come to life please direct me to a person who wouldn't want that. And he can draw tattoos and gain those powers? He can have almost whatever power he wanted. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS. Your "I want" statements would turn into "I have" statements. You would never not have anything you wanted.

PLUS I mean, you'd totally be the best gift giver ever and all your friends would love you.

danna/monarch's ability to turn into butterflies

This may sound like she turns into a delicate swarm of butterflies BUT NO. She goes ALL out. And she sneaks into movie theaters with it? SCORE. Tickets are too expensive these days.

"When I was a kid I was always sneaking into movie theaters. To this day, I've never actually paid for a movie ticket.' She cringed slightly and leaned forward. 'Don't tell anyone, okay? That is definitely outside of our code.'"

It was honestly such a shame that we didn't get to see more of Danna, she was a warm character who I thought had a lot of potential :/ MAYBE IN THE NEXT BOOK

simon/the dread warden's invisibility

I've always been a fan of the concept of invisibility, you'd be able to get around and be sneaky. OF COURSE I'd use it for good things hehehehe

ALSO the Dread Warden is probably the coolest super hero name EVER. And anyone with the name Simon is automatically a good character.

leroy/cyanide's crazy chemistry stuff

Chemistry is my personal favorite of the sciences, and the ability to make all those crazy poisons and potions that we see Nova get to use is SO COOL. Hurting people is not SO COOL but it's all so science based and agh.

Marissa Meyer has found the perfect way to incorporate science into magic and gosh I didn't think it was possible to love her even more.

Actually if I had that ability, it would honestly probably look something like this:

narcissa's ability to walk through mirrors

IT'S LIKE A PORTAL TO A WHOLE NEW WORLD. (a whole new wooorlllddd) ok while I didn't completely understand how the mirrors worked, I really enjoyed the concept of them. IT'S SO UNIQUE. Gah. Marissa Meyer you have my entire heart.

I wonder what her alias is, probably something gorgeous. 

that one kid who had INCREDIBLE archery skills

"Next to them was a blindfolded boy firing a bow and arrow at a series of moving targets and hitting them dead center every time."

MOVE OVER KATNISS AND HAWKEYE. Archery kid is coming through. I want a whole prequel book dedicated to this kid, I love him and his skill. Archery is so amazing and I applaud people who have the ability to focus and aim that well. 


Best superhero.

flashbolt's ability to shoot lightning bolts out of his hands

This kid was mentioned like once (at least he was given a name) but his ability is SO COOL

"On the mat beside them, the trainer threw a disc and Flashbolt lifted his hands, shooting a series of colored lightning bolts out of his marbled palms, striking the disc as it arced through the hall."

Not only is it amazing in battle but it makes for an amazing light show too.

Have you read Renegades? What TOTALLY AWESOME power would you love to have? What power would you NOT want to have? 

I can't wait 11 months for the next book. NOW MARISSA MEYER GIVE IT TO ME n OW.

peace out y'all,


five reasons why i despise writing reviews

I don't post a lot of reviews on here. Primarily because I HATE writing them.

Ok. Not HATE, but a strong dislike. Sometimes they can be fun, but a lot of things bring down my review writing experience. 

YES these are completely valid reasons shut up


I constantly have to refer back to the book

I do not have a great memory. It takes me a solid 10 minutes to remember what I had for dinner last night. And I usually write reviews 4-5 days after I read the book, because I'm strange. 

I forget like the entire plot of the book I'm reviewing.

I don't mind flipping through the book to remember parts, but sometimes I run out of points so I actually have to read over large sections of the book to remember what I wanted to say. TOO TEDIOUS 4 M3

I know I could a) write the review earlier or b) write down points as I read, but I will not change.

Worrying about the length of the review

Sometimes I read through those large sections and still have nothing and my review is so small that if it were food, it would be too small for a mouse to eat. I sit there, looking at my three short paragraph review and bang my head against the table because I couldn't possibly put this up.

AND THEN sometimes I read through those large sections and have way too much. My review comes out to be like a Potions essay that Hermione would read. I mean, if I were a reader, I would not take the time to read that. 

WHAT IS THE PERFECT REVIEW LENGTH. book gods pls tell me

Reviews for one book are almost all the same 

A popular book that everyone in the book world has read and heard about and loved has a lot of good reviews, and they're often the exact same. 

Take Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (one of my fave books), it's clear why the book is FANTASTIC, so all reviewers address it. And then all the reviews are the same. And then it's boring. 

How does one make it different? I know 845957 thousand other people said that bUT I NEED TO SAY IT TOO. gah

how i feel reading a review identical to mine


Some people write killer reviews. Like reviews that make me laugh and genuinely want to keep reading. Reviews that give an honest and captivating opinion instead of just a recap of the plot.

Sadly, I am not one of those people. I cannot write an interesting review to save the life of me. No matter the length, if I were a reader, I would not read my review all the way through.


book gods pls help me

I have an irrational fear of people vehemently opposing my review and hating me

Book reviews are opinionated. Which means 80% of the time (20% is a review for a 5 star book that everyone except for a few heartless demons loved ((yes these are accurate stats)) people will disagree with you. I'm totally okay with that, it's expected.

But every time I post a review, I sit in agony waiting for someone to scream ARE YOU STUPID YOU ARE SO WRONG I AM COMING TO KILL U >:( at me and stalk me for life. ok maybe not THAT bad but STILL. it could happen. probably not. but what if.

Do you like or hate writing reviews? What about reading reviews? How long do you think reviews should be?

peace out y'all,


two thousand and seventeen, i bid you farewell

Yet another New Years post, are you surprised?

Another year gone and another year coming, time goes and goes and goes. It feels like I was just writing my 2016 Resolutions post and my 2015 Resolutions post.

These past few days I've really been thinking and reflecting on 2017, and thinking a lot how I want 2018 to go. Resolutions blah blah

But instead of talking about 2018, I wanted to talk about 2017 today. I have 365 days to think about, I want to dedicate one more day to the wake of 2017's death (heh).

Here's to another year! Thank you 2017!

2017 was neither bad nor good, but I feel like that's how every year should and will be. There will be bad times, but good times that will (hopefully) overpower them. Do your best to make more good times and move on from the bad. Moving on, prosperity and positivity, that is 2018. - journal entry from (way) early in the morning 1.1.18


jan 1 - I met some of my dearest internet friends and hung out with them for a few hours
jan 21 - Went to my local Women's March


feb 12 - Went to NYC with my Dad and saw Aladdin and practically drowned in all the cold cold rain
feb 19 - Went to the mall with 4 of my friends and got matching friendship bracelets 


mar 13 - Watching the gorgeous sunset in Bangladesh over the lake after going boating
mar 18 - Going to/making All State Orchestra with 6 of my friends
mar 22 - My thirteenth birthday!
mar 25 - My birthday sleepover in which I fell asleep at 10 and everyone else fell asleep at 3


apr 2 - Sitting outside, getting dressed, and having a picnic with myself
apr 14 - Hiding tiny figures in the woods with my friends
apr 20 - FINALLY getting Slytherin on the Pottermore Sorting Hat quiz


may 13 - Going to Target with my two best friends and buying the SOFTEST pillow EVER
may 17 - Getting back into art after a while of not drawing
may 21 - Writing a 7000 word fanfiction in my agenda because math is so boring


jun 2 - Going to a theme park for my 8th grade trip with all of my friends and having the best time
jun 12 - 8th grade graduation ceremony!
jun 16 - 8th grade graudation PARTY
jun 18 - Trying to study for finals with my friends at Barnes and Nobles but ending up playing hide and seek
jun 24 - Going to NYC on the last day of school and staying in a museum with my friends


jul 1 - Going back to NYC and staying there for a week with my cousins
jul 4 - Watching the fireworks over the Brooklyn Bridge
jul 5 - Visiting the Met and having the BEST ice cream EVER
jul 9 - Going to California with my cousins and staying for three weeks
jul 10 - Watching Spiderman Homecoming for the first time
jul 16 - Watching Spiderman Homecoming for the second time
jul 19 - Working with a few new friends at their mom's office and getting some $$$
jul 22 - Meeting the same internet friends again!
jul 23 - Going to see a live soccer game (Real Madrid vs Barcelona)
jul 29 - Visiting the Stanford campus (my dream school :'))


aug 7 - Watching Spiderman Homecoming for the third time
aug 13 - Watching Zendaya win a Teen Choice Award for Spiderman Homecoming
aug 19 - Going back to NYC for the weekend and going to the 9/11 Memorial 
aug 21 - Watching the Solar Eclipse with my dad
aug 26 - Swimming with my friends and making our own ice pops
aug 29 - Getting a FREE drink at Starbucks
aug 30 - Riding on a horse at my teammate's house during a soccer team dinner before our first game


sep 1 - Eid!!
sep 4 - Watching the sunsets on the last few days of summer
sep 6 - First day of high school!
sep 22 - Playing Manhunt with 10 of my friends
sep 23 - Decorating my shed with two of my friends
sep 30 - Rewatching Doctor Who heh


oct 6 - First football game !
oct 7 - Getting PUMPKINZ
oct 20 - ANOTHER football game !
oct 31 - Dressing up as a deer with my friend for Halloween


nov 3 - My friends and I went to bubble tea (we do that a lot this was just one of the better ones)
nov 10 - Going to Seneca Falls and then Syracuse Mall
nov 15 - Soccer banquet and we had some GOOD PASTA
nov 18 - Early Thanksgiving with two of my friends
nov 21 - On the day before Thanksgiving break, all my friends brought a food to lunch and we had like a potluck?? Twas fun
nov 30 - We went to Washington DC and went to tons of museums and ate amazing food


dec 9 - Going to my very first high school dance and dancing until our feet hurt :D
dec 16 - Making sugar cookies for the first time
dec 16 - Watching Star Wars with my dad
dec 17 - Having hibachi for my mom's birthday
dec 23 - Watching the Greatest Showman with my best friend
dec 28 - Watching Star Wars again
dec 31 - Having an amazing NYE party with my friends


OVERALL.. some months were less eventful than others, but JULY was definitely my favorite month of 2017. 

I learned a lot, I lived a lot, and I will continue to do that in the new year. For me, 2018 is going to be about productivity, and getting things DONE. 

Happy New Year everyone! I wish you an AMAZING and prosperous 2018 :D 

peace out y'all,

(resolutions / reading list post coming maybe soon possibly idk yet)