nanowrimo wrap up #1 + life updates - i only stayed up past midnight once!

SORRY FOR THE BRIEF ABSENCE!! I was getting caught up with my new writing schedule, so I just couldn't find the time last weekend to put out a post but here I am :D

NaNo has been going on for 11 hectic days but IT'S BEEN GOOD TO ME SO FAR!! I hit 20k today, and the day is not done so we'll see if I can maybe write 5k more :0 IT'S POSSIBLE!!

picture is mine!!

word counts

day one 

NaNo started on a Wednesday this year (strange how I said NaNo instead of November. NOVEMBER ISN'T A MONTH ANYMORE ONLY NANO.) So it was a tad bit awkward, middle of the week bluez :P

words written: 2025
total: 2025
highlight of day: eating all of my halloween candy from the previous night heheheeheh

day two 

1978 is close enough to 2k? right. yes. yes it is. Thursdays have slowly become my favorite day of the work week next to Friday because my day isn't as hectic lol

words written: 1978
total: 4008
best meal: this chili my mom got from a local cafe? so yum. i love chili.

day three - 5k!

I went out with my friends that night so I didn't get much writing done. But we went to bubble tea which is actually my favorite place in the world.  Coffee blizzards 4 life. I wrote a bit before and the passed out the second I got home HAHA, 

words written: 1305
total: 5308
amount of caffeine consumed: one black tea, two iced coffees, one coffee blizzard . oops

day four

My friend came over this day and we made some certifiably AWFUL soup. It was literally water, and then we threw in an assortment of spices and veggies. HEALTHY. And then to cleanse our palette we walked to Starbucks and collected leaves. And then I came home and wrote 3k. Whatta day.

words written: 3446
total: 8774
struggle of the day: trying not to vom from poorly made... soup? you can't even call it that.

day five

I DESPISE SUNDAYS. I spent the whole day in another town and then I pinned a ton on Pinterest. Because when you're sad, the best option is Pinterest. Pinterest: look at obscure DIYs and solve all of your problems.  But I did go to Urban Outfitters which is actually my favorite store in existence.

words written: 2013
total: 10787
pictures pinned on pinterest: i couldnt even tell you

day six

I wrote like nothing today because I had practice from 6-7 which is, in my opinion, the worst time because it basically divided up my work time. I did wear my shirt from Urban which was yellow and had a bunch of strange faces on it. I'm 100% sure it creeped people out, but honestly that's what made it 10x better. I also was forced to clean under my bed, and there were some unexplainable things down there. gross.

words written: 1213
total: 12000
times 'ew' was said: none, i was too shocked at the mess to speak

day seven

Tuesday is like the time where I recover from being sore due to Mondays practice but then have to prepare to get sore all over again for Wednesday. While doing homework, I suddenly felt a spark to listen to Vivaldi and I believe I had his Four Seasons on repeat for hours on end. SO GOOD. 

words written: 2028
total: 14028
times i listened to vivaldi's four seasons: at least 10. that's over 6 hours of vivaldi. what. 

day nine

YES I KNOW I SKIPPED 8 i just didn't write anything because I was a bad bean. My dad brought me oreos, which I almost never eat and I had half of the dang container while writing.... BAD BEAN. They're too good though WHYYYY

words written: 3024
total: 17052
oreos consumed: too many

random rambles about my novel and problems and blagh

It's actually doing pretty great, I'm just struggling a little with description, per usual. I'm only at 20k and already in my 4th scene... I have 10 scenes.... THAT MAY BE DISASTER.

Also development? I love it but I SUCK AT IT. 

Me while writing: Development? Idk her sorry.

My outline is working well! I only did a chapter outline for the first four chapters until I realized I only really needed my scene cards. #plansters for the win!

also snacks are very necessary. I think I would have died without my oreo fix. AND MUSIC. I couldn't write in the quiet :0 It's good to find an album that really fits the mood of your scene or novel, it inspires you.

The story is nice and the plot is going on well, I just feel as if I am straying from the central idea, but that could be because the particular scene I've been writing today doesn't focus too much on it. My mood about this novel changes every hour. #THESTRUGGLEISREAL

ALSO BLESS THE PEOPLE WHO CAME UP WITH WORD CRAWLS. They are my saviors and they're so much fun. 

I also am a faster writer than I thought? As in I can successfully write 1k in 20 minutes? Without making typos? What is this new found power??? 

How's the noveling going for you? If you're not doing NaNo, how is life? Do you have any new found every day powers? What is your guilty pleasure food? SHARE SHARE!

peace out y'all,



oh look it's my #nanowrimo novel

NANOWRIMO IS IN...3 DAYS AND I HAVEN'T FINISHED PLANNING YET. procrastination is not a friend.

This year, I sat myself down and me and myself had a nice little talk. It involved half of me screaming at the other half to: WRITE ANOTHER FREAKING FANTASY. And the other half screaming: NO. YOU FOOL. CONTEMPORARY. 

The fool receded back into my system and I decided on CONTEMPORARY. I'm going to try to write happy things! Just kidding, outlining this book made me cry tears of non-fantasy sorrow. 

Psh. I don't hate it. But I don't love it. I write and read fantasy to escape the depths of shrinking reality. But writing realistic fiction means I have to face the horrors of reality. It's dark and twisted. And definitely not happy. 

Nonetheless, I'm writing it, and I'm kind of excited. I'm actually really excited, because I finally think I have an outline that works for me, even though I haven't actually.. finished... it.. yet. heh. 

I'm linking up with the Beautiful Books meme to introduce my NaNo novel to you!

also quickly, ADD ME AS A FRIEND ON NANOWRIMO!! do it. 

1. What inspired the idea for your novel, and how long have you had the idea?

I was actually inspired by a Grey's Anatomy episode?? It's one of my favorites, and it's about this girl who was kidnapped at a young age, who's found and shares some disturbing secrets about her kidnapping and her capture. It's creepy and dark and sparked my imagination when I watched it a couple of months ago. 

I REALLY REALLY wanted: a POC main character, some representation of mental health, just lots of representation, enchiladas, and an Arctic Monkeys loving hiker secondary character. Of course, all the things a normal teenage girl wants in a book. 

2. Describe your novel.

Sav Mills is found at the side of the river at exactly 5:09 AM in nowhere town, New Jersey. Plot twist! She's been missing for 7 years. Plot twist! She acts like a normal person and is educated up to the college standard. Plot twist! She won't tell anyone anything.

6 months later, Sav starts school, and meets Kat(herine) Brawksi. Call her Katherine, and she'll rip your head off. Throughout her time with Kat, Sav learns more about adjusting to her new life and coming to terms with what happened to her.

Plot twist! Her captor is found, and the memories come flooding back. 

3. What is your book's aesthetic?

4. Introduce us to each of your characters.

SAV - the main character who means well but sometimes (always) lets things get into her way. Doesn't know what she's doing yet, but she'll figure it out.. eventually. She has spirit, which comes from her mom, and she will never pass up on a plate of enchiladas. All she wants is to stop feeling weak, and to just forget.

KAT - secondary love interest who is short (don't bring it up or she will fight you) but feisty. She takes pride in her Russian Indian heritage and cares the most about her little brother, who she will protect to her death. She secretly not so secretly wishes she had lived for more of the 90s, and her ultimate idol is Scary Spice. 

TASHA - Sav's kind and gentle therapist who has a love for jazz and sewing with her boyfriend. Her only priority is to make others feel good, which can be the downfall of her own health. Her holy grail fashion item is mom jeans, which she always pairs with a good striped sweater. Her guilty pleasure is Oprah, although she doesn't really feel guilty for it, Oprah is a true queen. 

SARAH - the woman no one knows about, but Sav feels like she knows too much about. Our villain of the story, although she doesn't feel like one. She feels like she was doing her duty to herself, to make herself feel better, but Sav has some other ideas about that. 

5. How do you prepare to write?

A pep talk in the mirror, index cards, and the biggest cup of tea I can make. You want more? fine. 

I talked a little bit about my loose outline last year, and while it has changed a bit to better fit my needs, it basically contains it all. I am a self proclaimed #planster, or a Mama Bear, not too much, not too little. 

i just compared myself to a bear.

I also create a schedule for the entire month of November because with school, violin, and soccer, I can't just go at it and hope it works. That's where the plan part of planster comes in. 

The tea thing is most definitely not a lie. Coffee is gross, hot chocolate doesn't give me a kick. so. tea.

6. What are you looking forward to about this novel?

THE ENDING. Act III is so dope, I just can't wait. I also can't tell you about it. I should probably choose something else. 

- #KatSass. Kat is sassy, she's funny, she banters with just about everything that moves. It's hilarious.

- REALITY. No monsters, no magical powers besides Tasha's soothing voice, just straight realness.

- Sadistic villains. Sarah isn't a villain who lives in a booming tower, but that doesn't mean she's not evil. I'm super excited for her character, and to see how I make her wicked without magic.

7. List three things about your novel's setting.

- It reminds me of my home town! I based Patter, NJ a lot on my town. Nowhere Ville, USA. Where nothing ever happens, but when it does, it's freaking crazy.

but its sooo boring.

- There are a lot of beautiful settings. Kat takes Sav to this one part of the neighborhood that's a string of old houses covered in vines, and in the backyard, there's a gorgeous patio surrounded in flowers. Finding pictures on Pinterest for that was a stunning experience.

- There's a lot of deja vu besides a river. That's all I'll say.

8. What's your character's goal and who (or what) stands in the way?

Sav's goal is to adjust to her life again, and try to forget about everything that happened to her. She thought she would leave it all behind, but then Sarah is found, and she's forced to relive it, every excruciatingly painful moment.

9. How does your protagonist change by the end of the novel?

She overcomes her demons and is able to face her fears. She may or may not find love. She will dye her hair purple with the help of Kat's mastery hair techniques and much to the discontentment of her father. 

10. What are your book's themes? What do you want your readers to feel when the story is over?

The main themes are: life can change with time, the truth is harsh but we must face it, and we must let go.

There are two endings: one that can I can sort of hint, and one that I want to keep a secret because it's evil and I hate it but I AM SO EXCITED FOR IT.

ahem. The reader should initially feel content, like she achieved what she needed to achieve, and all is well. but then. BUT THEN. it's so evil i feel so sneaky hehehe. 

ARE YOU DOING NANO? Describe your lovely novel to me! And if not, are you working on anything else? It doesn't even have to be writing related! Also... happy early Halloween! Stay safe out there <3

peace out y'all,

the ninth grader's love hate relationship with shakespeare: interviews with kids in my english class

I'm currently delving through Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew for English, and let's just say I love it and I hate it. Shakespeare was a great writer, there's no doubt about it.

But in the modern time, we have to ask ourselves: What is so special about Shakespeare? What makes people love him? What makes people never want to pick up one of his plays ever again after they leave high school? 

SO FOR FUN. and for extra credit. I asked every kid in my English class if they liked or disliked Shakespeare, why they do, and if they plan on reading more of his plays in their spare time.

this. was. fun.

"I don't hate Shakespeare, but it is a strong dislike. The strongest of dislikes. It's just... boring."

"I would rather chug vinegar than read another one of Shakespeare's plays." (graphic..)

"Why should I have to read a play set in the 16th century? It's 2017, no one talks like that!"

"I don't think I've ever heard someone say "How now!" or "Fie" in my entire 14 years of existence."

"This one [Taming of the Shrew] is super sexist. It's basically saying that girls can't stand up for themselves and they have to be quiet and reserved." 

"I don't really have an opinion but Shakespeare was a mysterious dude. We don't even know if he was one person. Fishy.

"It's not that I don't like his plays it's that we're expected to find a literary device in every line of the play! I don't think it's that deep."

"The first thing that comes up when you type 'Why do ninth graders' on google is 'Why do ninth graders read Romeo and Juliet' and I think that says it all."

"There's nothing special about a dead guy who wrote about people dying." (harsh)

"His plays are just so predictable. That might just be because people from Elizabethan times were stupid uneducated and they wouldn't have understood such a complex play." (again. harsh.)

"Our teacher refuses to let us use translators so how are we even supposed to understand it?"

"The kids who said they like it are lying to themselves."

"I'd rather watch the Romeo and Juliet movie with Leonardo diCaprio than read the actual play, thank you."

"I haven't found a single character in any of the plays that doesn't make me want to strangle them. Except for Mercutio. He's chill." (MY CLASSMATES ARE SO WILD)

"Once you understand them, you realize that Shakespeare's plays are extremely complex and well done. Barely anyone can develop such a perfect plot."

"Okay some of them may be kind of lame but some of them are super interesting. Like Julius Ceaser, that one's my favorite."

"You can apply so much of it to real life! Juliet picking the wrong guy, Katherina not getting a suitor just because she's not like the average girl, it all fits in with our modern life in a way."

"He captures the human condition exquisitely. He understands human flaw, human pain, and how that affects our actions."

"It's all so very romantic and poetic. Especially the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet, I cry every time."

"The man invented words. Like he made up his own slang. Enough said."

Ninth graders really aren't a fan of Shakespeare. To us, it's hard to understand, and with all the work our teachers give us on it, it doesn't really make it fun? But we're able to recognize the genius of Shakespeare, and how his work was truly great. 

also my classmates are truly brutal. and hilarious. ah. 

Have you read Shakespeare? IF YOU HAVEN'T, are you currently living under a rock? IF YOU HAVE, did you read it for school or for fun? Are you a Shakespeare hater or a Shakespeare lover?

peace out,

five book genres that i will never be able to read

this picture is so sad but hey its me

My personal favorite genres are fantasy and contemporary, and I tend to not read outside of those genres.... IT'S BAD. I KNOW. 

Occasionally I'll pick up another book that's sci fi or historical fiction but there's a few genres I will NEVER touch. 

Of course, it's not like these books aren't good or well written, it's just that I personally don't find them interesting or fun to read. SO PLEASE PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE FROM THIS LIST <33


I HATE BEING SCARED. More importantly, I would not willingly scare myself. I don't watch horror movies either because I don't want to pay to lose my dignity in a theater. No thanks. 

When I pick up a horror book and the first page says "based on a true story", I lose all of my sanity. I can just look at the demon clown on the cover and not be able to sleep for a week. I don't care HOW good It and Steven King novels are, I will not read It. 

I don't care if it's Halloween, I don't care if "it's not so scary" (because it usually is), I don't want to "face my fear", and I really don't care if there's a happy ending because THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE THINGS IN THE MIDDLE LESS SCARY. 

the classic boy and his dog stories

THEY'RE CUTE. YES I LOVE DOGS. YES I LOVE KIDS AND DOGS. but they're all the same story. The boy finds a lost dog, it becomes his best friend, and then it runs away or dies. AND THE BOY GETS OVER IT SO FAST? like did he ever have a dog? I don't think he seems to remember. 

AND MY HEART IS IN PIECES ON THE FLOOR. I remember reading Shiloh in the fourth grade and petting every dog I saw on the street for months because I was just so heartbroken. 

there's also always something about summer?? My next post is going to be all the similarities of dog books. The list will be ENDLESS.

short stories

They're too.. short? YES I KNOW THEY'RE SHORT STORIES. But there's just not enough time to fit everything in? I've only read a few short story collections and I honestly did not finish half of them because I got bored and there was just too much story for one book but not enough story for each story. 

HOW DOES ONE NOT WANT TO WRITE MORE. I mean you see my blog I just have so many words and so many things to say I couldn't possibly fit an entire story in 10 pages. Plus I am so obsessed with character development that THERE JUST WOULDN'T BE SPACE. ugh. 


Surprisingly there aren't that many western YA books out there or maybe I don't know because I've only read one. And it was basically people on horses saying y'all. I'm not being stereotypical it was literally about a lost horse and it was set in 1845. There was actually a gun fight at the end over the horse. 

And I'm not even sure how entirely accurate half the things are? If you're not American, please do not rely on Westerns for information on American history in the 18th and 19th century, people were not running around having fights with guns. actually i'll get back to you on that..


I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE dystopia novels, it was everything I read as a 10/11 year old, especially because dystopias were extremely popular at the time. 

But honestly, I don't think I've read a dystopia in FOREVER, the current series I'm reading is the first dystopia I think I've read since 2015. Because like the dog/boy stories, they're all the same.

Same teenage girl, same world in terror, same love triangle, same evil ruler, same rebel force, same "symbol of the rebellion status" it's old, it's boring, and I get serious deja vu. Didn't I just read this book? Nope. That was Divergent. 

What are some of your least favorite genres? What's your GO TO genre? How do you feel about switching it up to reading a COMPLETELY different book?

peace out,


cozy covers : ten autumn themed book covers

Let's be real. How many of you have judged a book by its cover?

GASP. YOU FIENDS. kidding kidding. I sometimes... am guilty.... of choosing books.... because of the pretty cover........ ooPS. #sorrynotsorry (is this a blog post or a demi lovato song, the world may never know)

Today I am linking up with The Broke and the Bookish for their weekly Top Ten Tuesday and today's prompt is ten books with fall themes and covers.

I went basic and simply chose ten books I own that have covers that remind me of fall :D (spoiler alert: there's a lot of red... sorry to .... bulls)

wish you were here - rita mae brown

This cover features a cat and for some reason I associate cats with fall. DO YOUR BRAINS EVERY MAKE .. strange.. CONNECTIONS. like cats with fall??? or am i crazy. Probably the latter. 

harry potter and the sorcerer's stone - jk rowling

This is one of the only books on the list that actually relates to fall. Because back to Hogwarts? And the halloween chapter? IT MAKES SENSE OK. 


the seven dials mystery - agatha christie

LIKE I SAID. LOTS OF RED. basically the red just sold it for me. But for real, I literally grew up on mysteries. My mom owns every single Agatha Christie, Anne Perry, Georgette Heyer novel EVER. crazy. 

the book of saladin - tariq ali

OK I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T READ THIS BOOK YET.. but this book cover screams fall. the colors. drool. 

linger - maggie stiefvater

Because it's kind of set in fall?? Right?? Yes? Also peep my obsession with Bath and Body Works lingering (AHAH THE PUNS) in the background. 

queen of attolia - megan whalen turner

dark skies??? fall?? right. Except it's been sunny here for the past week and I really miss fall :')

the copper gauntlet - holly black/cassandra clare and the kill order - james dashner

RED AND ORANGE COVERS. and ps i will never stop using the fuzzy blanket and orange fairy lights in my pictures. NEVER. 

the book thief - markus zusak

While this isn't exactly a ... cozy book.... the cover does give me a warmish feel and there's some parts that are set in the cold? I'm reaching here. 

a court of thorns and roses - sarah j. maas

RED. ALL THE RED. i own way too many red books. I don't think I buy them for their colors, but who knows maybe it's another weird brain connection. 

Do you buy/read books by their covers? YES I KNOW YOU DO.  What are some weird connections your brain makes? WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE “fall” BOOKS? Let’s talk!

peace out,


wassup october? / musings, tbrs, challenges and such

Hello everyone! Happy actually fall! The East Coast has been having some... identity crises and is totally mimicking what should be happening in the Southern Hemisphere because for some reason it has been 90 degrees all of last week.

IT IS OFFICIALLY OCTOBER. *throws leaves and pumpkin cupcakes frantically at your face* AH. How I missed this month in all of its spooky glory. You make my heart sing.

I'm sitting here in my mustard sweater, sipping black tea and ready to start my morning even though it's 1:40. let's go.


Last month I read a whopping total of, 2 books! Which is a step up, and I'm getting out of my slump and it's all smiles over here. ONTO THE BOOKS.

PHOENIX + WINGS / elizabeth richards : I recently started reading Phoenix after I finished Black City in.. a day... and I'M LOVING IT. or am i. i don't really know. There are lots of tropes and it's quite cliche actually but the plot is thrilling and EVERY CHAPTER LEAVES YOU ON A CLIFFHANGER. i don't know how to deal.

OF FIRE AND STARS / audrey coulthurst : I fell in love with this book when I first saw it on Goodreads for two reasons: lgbt relationship and badass princesses with the gift of fire. And it looks like it can break my heart so I'm ready for it.

-  FOREVER / maggie stiefvater : When I hit my book slump in May, I forgot about this series and let it catch dust on my shelf. But I kind of forget the plot. So I may have to go back and read all of them again.  Which means I may not get to reading anything else. Oops? Not oops I'm not really sorry because I remember how good this series is and MWAAHAHHA my TBR shall suffer! HAAH. ah. ha. yikes


Am I doing Inktober for the first time? Am I doing NaNoWrimo again? I DON'T KNOW STOP PESTERING ME. 

Soccer season ends on Tuesday (I'm sobbing but jumping for joy at the same time) so I'll have free time after school to practice my violin until my hands fall off (still sobbing and jumping for joy)

This gives me time to do other things like draw an ink drawing every day of October and write 1,500 words every day in November! (the sobbing and jumping never ends) Can I do it? I don't really know. But I have to decide soon because October is actually tomorrow. AHHHH. 

I found this witchy Inktober 30 day prompt thingy picture blob on the internet somewhere (does this prove I'm not ready for NaNo) so maybe I'll do like half of Inktober? We'll see how it goes. 


I started HIGH SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER. It was not the place full of wraths and demons and dragons who want to bite your head off like people said. Everyone hates freshman which sucks but it's really not that bad. *curls up into a ball* GET ME OUT. kidding. joking. it's fine. 

School is slowly consuming the soul I did not have but we're making it through, chugging along on life's toboggan. (took me 5 tries to spell toboggan and i'm not actually hundred percent sure what a toboggan is.) 

Here are a few snapshots from my life that you probably don't want. 

A lovely view from coming back from my soccer game. Also CLOUDS ARE SO FREAKIN PRETTY?? They're like nature's paintings. Geez. 

My  #selfie with my computer playing DOCTOR WHO. Aka the show I was obsessed with in 5th grade and now that obsession is coming back. AH. missed it. 

These weird pizza things my dad found at the supermarket which are strangely PHENOMENAL and can be devoured in exactly 5 minutes. 

Creepy eye drawing I was working on that actually wasn't half bad. That lighting though #idonotdrawat3amwhat

Candid of me and my friend walking through the hallway taken by my other friend who had my phone. I could totally be a model. 

Some more art of mine of queen ZENDAYA that made it onto queen ZENDAYA'S APP. I AM FAMOUS. I AM CRYING. THIS IS MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT. AHHHH. 

Delve into your psychic minds and predict how your October will be... GO! Are you doing NaNoWrimo? Do you also love clouds and Doctor Who? What are you going to read this month? Any miraculous and spectacular book recommendations for me?

peace out,


top five things that will make me rate a book five stars

Sometimes, authors do really good things. Things that make me flail, things that get me excited, things that make me rack up the stars and praises and make me FALL IN LOVE. Things that make me do this:

And because I'm a basic little book blogger, I compiled them into a list, because no one has done that before. ha. 

one word. diversity. yes.

i mean, this was a given. It really doesn't make sense to me when all the characters are the same. It also makes me sad when every book I read is set in Nowhere Town, U.S.A.

I did a whole post somewhere.. hold on.. HERE on why we need more representation in YA, which I wrote back in January, but I still stand by 100%. POC are really cool, LGBT are really cool, everyone is cool, put them in your books!! They deserve a badass story too. 

secondary character development (you find this in most books BUT WHEN IT'S DONE RIGHT?? YES.)

When I see a secondary character develop, my heart flutters. Most of the times, a secondary character is my favorite character, and it makes me so happy when I see them get the proper and nice love they deserve? JFJFDWFDBHF

Sometimes though, character development goes wrong and it's not very pretty, and the character is broken and SO IS MY HEART. But the pretty development. AH. Don't get me wrong, development is hard, so the lovely crazily talented authors that can pull it off are pure... genius. 

a good villain with a good backstory and a good plan and the ability to put up a good fight

Villains cannot be weak. They cannot be taken down in a chapter. And they should have some backstory besides I WAS BORN EVIL IN THE WOMB. weak. 

hahah yes i am token villain and i will take over the world with token weapon that can be taken down with a single button. great plan yes i am genius hAHAHHAHAHA. 

hahah yes i am token ruler and i will kill u all if u don't listen to me. but wait there is a girl coming to kill me o no! my thousands of men can't take her down! i am weak. weak. 

hahah yes i am token bully and i will make every person in token high school fear me! but wait i have one flaw that main character discovers and now i am #exposed! o no

main characters that actually know what they're doing

I AM SO TIRED OF CLUELESS MAIN CHARACTERS. Yes, I get that main characters aren't supposed to know everything so we can learn with them blah blah blah but once they understand, they should be doing smart things. NOT FOOLISH THINGS. 

Genius characters are fun, decently intelligent main characters are great too, but I don't like reading characters that act like they've never encountered any bit of the universe. It's annoying. 

It's quite nice to see that once the main character gets everything explained to them, they actually take the information and do something useful. That's all. Just my personal preference really. 

teenagers that act like.. teenagers

Obviously most YA protagonists are teenagers, but they all seem to be so grown up. Of course I understand you're all busy about saving the world but what about homework, and a crazy fashion sense that includes a few pairs of avocado socks.

I want a YA character that has a few problems like mine, like running out of Poptarts at 1 AM, and not having the right pair of jeans to go with my t shirt for the day. However when I find those characters, I keep them close to my heart because who doesn't love characters that are #relatable?

- - - -

HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED!! I missed blogging so much AAA ranting about books every weekend really is a refresher. 

tell me some of your fave bookish things! let's chat :D

Love y'all,

we are the ants by shaun david hutchinson: a journey of existential crisises

The universe may forget us, but our light will brighten the darkness for eons after we've departed this world. The universe may forget us, but it can't forget us until we're gone, and we're still here, our futures unwritten. We can choose to sit on our ass*s and wait for the end, or we can live right now. We can march to the end of the void and scream in defiance. Yell out for all to hear that we do matter. That we are still here, living out our absurd bulls*it lives and nothing can take that away from us. Not rogue comets, not black holes, not the heat death of the universe. We may not get to choose how we die, but we can choose how we live. 

The universe may forget us, but it doesn't matter. Because we are the ants, and we'll keep marching on.

Do you ever pick up a book and know that it's going to be good? You don't read the back, you barely glance at the cover design, but you read the title and just know? That's the vibe We Are the Ants gave me the second I took it off the shelf at Barnes and Noble. 

There is no way to describe it besides saying it was marvelous. It's been a long time since I've given a book 5 stars, almost a year long time. It's been a while since I sat down with a book and was able to just read until time wouldn't allow me to read anymore. It's been a while since I've been able to call a book one of the greatest books I have ever read. 

This book shot down and broke me. Broke my mind, my soul, everything I have ever thought of. This book made me rethink my entire life. But in the best way possible. You pick up this book and you follow Henry Jerome Denton through a course of one hundred and forty four days and you live the hell out of those one hundred and forty four days.

Because this is not your average sci fi book. This book tackles more than just the impossible possibility of aliens and the world ending. It basically tackles everything, and it made me understand a lot of things. 

Spoilers ahead! Go read the book if you haven't and if you have, keep reading :)

Broken people will let the world end.

I'm living in an After Jesse world where I ache from missing him and nothing makes sense. My boyfriend and best friend both abandoned me. I am a punch line at school, a ghost at home. I hate Jesse for leaving me behind. If he asked I would have walked into the air with him. 

Before reading this book, if someone approached me with a button and told me if I didn't press it in 144 days, the world would cease to exist, I would have pressed it then and there. 

At the beginning of the book, I was appalled that Henry chose not to push it, why wouldn't you? 

But Henry was a broken clock still ticking, and broken people see more than happy people. Broken people are pessimists, they see everything wrong with the world, they see every reason not to push a button that would save the world. They see humanity as fools who have ruined every opportunity to succeed, they see a fresh start, they see a better universe. 

And like I said before, this book broke me and put me back together, so I began to see everything wrong with the world and every reason not to push a button that would save the world.

However, after careful consideration I decided that I would push the button. There is too much in this world worth saving, and I think by the end of the book, Henry realized that too. 

There is an infinite amount of ways the world could end. 

On 29 January 2016 at 1:39 UT, the J├╝rgen Eichman impacts the Mediterranean Sea.
The United States Armed Forces invade North Korea on 29 January 2016 at 20:03 GMT.
It begins on 26 January 2016 at 7:35 am EST, and the new Fixers, whose sole function is to replicate, consumes the entire planet in three days, leaving behind nothing but an ocean of grey goo.
Emmanuel Roth arrives in Geneva on 29 January 2016 at 10:19 UTC and detonates a fission bomb, atomizing the Large Hadron Collider, CERN, and most of Switzerland. 
On 29 January 2016 the South Korean government passes a mandatory Mind's Eye Legislation and in a matter of months, every person on Earth is living in a fantasy world. 
On January 29 2016, at 11:23 pm EST a boat off the coast of Maryland is trapped in ice. It is the first reported incident of the Atlantic Ocean freezing. By the time the sun grows bright, no one is left alive to feel its warmth. 
On 29 January 2016, the last hive of honeybees, located on an almond farm in California, succumbs to CCD. 
On 29 January 2016, a pair of CroMS escape from a lab in Austin, Texas. They begin to breed.

The world could cease to exist because of one little thing. And we could potentially never see it coming. i hope i didn't just give you the creeps.

Development of secondary characters is one of my favorite things to read.

The amazing thing about this book was that Henry wasn't the only character who was developed. And it was so much fun to read.

Henry's mother seemed to be a stubborn yet loving woman, who was just as broken as Henry was. She lived through seeing her mother suffer through Alzheimers, her eldest son dropping out of college and getting his girlfriend pregnant, her youngest son barely making it through high school, her husband leaving her and their kids behind, and stuck at a depressing job waiting tables. 

But by the end of the story, we see her take on a job cooking which she loves to do, making her mother happy by putting her in a retirement home, and living a life she genuinely enjoys, which is a pretty great improvement if I do say so myself.

Henry's brother Charlie probably had the most development out of every character in the book. You could even argue that his development was better than Henry's. It's not that he changes, it's just that you get to see more of him. 

Through Henry's eyes, Charlie is nothing more than a high school bully/jerk turned college dropout who got his girlfriend pregnant and hates his little brother type of guy. But as we see the events of Charlie's life fly by our eyes, such as losing his kid, giving up his dream to become a firefighter to support his family, you and Henry both realize he's more than that person. You realize that hey, this guy would have been a great dad. You got to see the inside part of Charlie that Henry never got to see until Charlie lost his baby. And by the end of the book, for the first time in his life, Henry actually felt like his brother loved him, and that's bada*s character development right there. 

There is such thing as love, or is there?

"Remember when you asked me if I'd save the world?"
"I didn't think you'd heard me."
Marcus snorted like I was stupid to think otherwise. "Well I would."

This is not a romance novel. This is not a sci fi novel. But without either, this book wouldn't be the same. We encounter three different romances in this book, and all of them are different, but they're not. Because in one way or another they're all misguided, and they're all based on foolish mistakes.

Jesse abandoned Henry. His foolish mistake was thinking that Henry didn't think he was enough, his foolish mistake was suicide. Diego hid from Henry. His foolish mistake was waiting too long to tell Henry the truth, and time is everything, you never have too much time. Marcus ruined Henry. His foolish mistake was taking Henry on a hook, reeling him in, and letting go, reeling him in, and letting go, until finally, Henry was the one who let go. 

Were any of those three love? Each one of them said that they in fact did love Henry, but did they? I still may never know what true love is, true love may not exist? ASDBGBG i told you there would be existential crises.

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AHFBJFBF I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH!! I can't wait to go out and buy more books by this author because I just LOVE LOVE LOVE his writing style so much oml. Check out the book with all the linky links down below :) NOT A PAID PROMO!!

First official post of bookmarkd!! SCREEEEAAAAAMMM. Hope you guys enjoy the new me. woo confetti pumpkin cupcakes. SPEAKING OF WHICH. FALL. YES. DEW. HOODIE WEATHER. PUMPKIN FREAKIN CUPCAKES. 

i really haven't changed at all. 

love y'all!

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