Hello everyone! Today I have ANOTHER story that I have started writing. I can't seem to find the right story, so I am going to have you guys vote! Tell me in the comments which one you like better! This one or this one.
Chelsea Bloomsbury was your average high school popular girl. She went to the mall, had fun with her other popular friends, and liked to pick on the nerds. And like any high schooler, she had her secrets. Our story starts on a bright summer day in the Eastwood Park, the day everything changed.
"C'mon Chelsea, don't be such a loser. Come with us to the mall." Dani said as she glared at Chelsea.
Chelsea stared down at the dark green grass, her shiny black hair falling in front of her face.
"Remember what happened last time we went to the mall? We got kicked out for trying to shoplift!" Chelsea looked around at the girls. "Do we want to risk getting arrested?"
"Oh come on! We just won't get caught. And it was a simple lip gloss, not a big deal." Dani sighed.
"That 'simple lip gloss' could have gotten us arrested!" Chelsea cried
"Okay whatever," Dani rolled her eyes "Are you in or not?" Chelsea looked around and thought about it. Maybe the girls would be more careful this time. Dani was very persuasive and if Chelsea didn't go, she might be kicked out of the group.
"Yeah, I'm in. Let me just go grab my bag." Chelsea ran down the road and into her house.
"Hey honey, why are you in such a rush?" Chelsea's mom was busy at the computer, like always.
"Oh, just going to the mall with the girls." Chelsea ransacked her room looking for her bag, and finally found it at the bottom of her closet, or as her mom calls it, the "abyss".
She ran out the door and back to Eastwood Park.
"Alright, ready?" Dani asked.
"Yup, let's go!" Chelsea wondered if this was a good idea, but what was the worst that could happen, right?
----END---
This is totally unedited and I literally just came up with this idea. Here is what I think Chelsea looks like:
PICTURE FROM TUMBLR
Mkay bye,
Noor
Chelsea Bloomsbury was your average high school popular girl. She went to the mall, had fun with her other popular friends, and liked to pick on the nerds. And like any high schooler, she had her secrets. Our story starts on a bright summer day in the Eastwood Park, the day everything changed.
"C'mon Chelsea, don't be such a loser. Come with us to the mall." Dani said as she glared at Chelsea.
Chelsea stared down at the dark green grass, her shiny black hair falling in front of her face.
"Remember what happened last time we went to the mall? We got kicked out for trying to shoplift!" Chelsea looked around at the girls. "Do we want to risk getting arrested?"
"Oh come on! We just won't get caught. And it was a simple lip gloss, not a big deal." Dani sighed.
"That 'simple lip gloss' could have gotten us arrested!" Chelsea cried
"Okay whatever," Dani rolled her eyes "Are you in or not?" Chelsea looked around and thought about it. Maybe the girls would be more careful this time. Dani was very persuasive and if Chelsea didn't go, she might be kicked out of the group.
"Yeah, I'm in. Let me just go grab my bag." Chelsea ran down the road and into her house.
"Hey honey, why are you in such a rush?" Chelsea's mom was busy at the computer, like always.
"Oh, just going to the mall with the girls." Chelsea ransacked her room looking for her bag, and finally found it at the bottom of her closet, or as her mom calls it, the "abyss".
She ran out the door and back to Eastwood Park.
"Alright, ready?" Dani asked.
"Yup, let's go!" Chelsea wondered if this was a good idea, but what was the worst that could happen, right?
This is totally unedited and I literally just came up with this idea. Here is what I think Chelsea looks like:
Mkay bye,
Noor
This is great! I would love to hear more!!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy you enjoyed Mae! I will post more :D
DeleteI love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lexie! I am happy you did!
DeleteBrilliant!
ReplyDeleteThough I liked the other one a bit better ♥
Thanks Emily! I'll keep that in mind.
DeleteThis one is better I think but idk why :P
ReplyDeleteThanks Neal, I'll remember that.
DeleteI like it very mutch:) very nice ! Noora/www.noorajatuukka.blogspot.fi
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Noora!
DeleteWonderful first chapter; I can't wait to read more of your writings in the future!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely comment on my blog. <3
Thanks Jordy, I'll definitely write more. You are very welcome, I think you deserved it.
DeleteI really liked this one it was short and sweet!! I want to hear more xx
ReplyDeletehttp://anotherteenontheweb.blogspot.co.uk/
Great! I will post more of this story soon :D
DeleteYou've got me wondering about this group of friends now. Well done! Also, I love the picture of Chelsea. It's helpful to have a reference picture for characters sometimes, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteThanks Imogen! Yeah, it helps me imagine her better when I write about her.
DeleteYeah! This sound amazing. It's also quite realistic. Some people from one of my friend's school tried to shoplift and they got into some serious trouble. Everyone in the district heard.
ReplyDeletexoxo Morning
Thanks so much Morning! Shoplifting is bad, this story kind of talks about how a little crime can lead to something bad.
DeleteI liked this story but I liked the other one a bit more. I love your writing. Your dialogue is really good, it's something I think I need to work on when I'm writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Star Girl, I really appreciate it!
DeleteLove it! ;) Keep posting, please!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sophia, will do!
DeleteThanks Jade, I am glad you enjoyed!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love this! Both of the stories are great, but I have to say that I like the other one a little better ♥
ReplyDeleteAmy xx
Perfect Imperfections
Hi Noor, I just found your blog through one of the comments you left on Clover+Dot. You have a great blog! I really liked this story - I can't wait to read more! :D
ReplyDelete~Lydia~ <3
Through the Wardrobe
Cute story! I love this one more!
ReplyDelete~Emily
afallingstar123.blogspot.com
Cool! BTW, who won the contest?
ReplyDeleteYou used my name (Dani)! So happy!
ReplyDelete